Stock Taking

Hello there! 

April 30 is a an anniversary of sorts on Incredible Courage. It's exactly 120 days ago that I swallowed all my uncertainties and put finger to keyboard to write the very first post on this blog.

Short as it's been - really, just 4 months? Lol, it's been a fulfilling journey and I thought this was a good point to take stock. When I started I had no idea where this was going (still have only a fuzzy picture) but I knew what I felt led to do. My singular focus was to encourage others with the same encouragement that I have received and keep receiving. I don't have all the answers but the fact that I'm still standing said to me that whatever I was hearing and following had some impact and I hoped that others could benefit from the same.

To quote Kari Jobe (Jesus, Lover of my soul):

        It's not about me, Jesus, 

        and all this is for you, 

        For your glory and your faith

        It's not about me,

        As if you should do things my way,

        You alone are God and I surrender!

(Video here: https://youtu.be/0mJFFrVnczE)

Stock taking is a habit we all need to cultivate. We know in part and see in part and so pretty much everything we do is based on an element of risk and uncertainty. Regular stock taking allows us to pause and reflect on the journey so far. With the benefit of hindsight, we can determine whether we've been on the "righter" or "wronger" track, pardon my English. I used those words because there are no absolutes as we know. What we can assess is whether we are moving more towards a better situation or one that is worse.

During stock taking, we count our blessings, evaluate what we could have done better, how we can improve the good parts and then formulate a plan for the next weeks or months or year. I usually ask myself 3 questions:

1. What do I need to stop doing? (to improve)

2. What do I need to continue doing? (if it ain't broke, don't fix it)

3. What do I need to start doing? (also to improve)

By answering these questions, I can pretty much chart a reasonable course for the near term. Counting my blessings on incredible courage, I list the following:

A. I have been privileged to be used of God

B. Somehow, l have been able to write posts that people say have blessed them and encouraged them or given them food for thought one way or another

C. I have conquered my uncertainties about my ability to be disciplined enough to write on a regular basis

D. I have learnt from the comments and interactions with people via the posts and offline and definitely become a humbler person

E. I have increased my prayer circle, more people are on my prayer list than ever before and that's a blessing. It's more blessed to give than to receive, right?

F. I've learnt a lot more about social media, the use of blogger and Facebook than I knew 4 months back. IT isn't the same as social media and I am humble enough to admit that!

I could go on but I'll stop there.

What do I need to start? Moving to www.incredible-courage.com domain for one. A lot of people have issues with posting comments and I need to find out what the problem and solution is. There are a few other things but again I will stop at those.

What do I need to stop? Hmm, this is a question I must answer to improve. I am sure there a number of things I'm not doing right. For example, I wonder about the ways in which I notify people about the availability of new posts each week.

What do I need to continue doing? Writing for sure (practice makes perfect), leaning on the help and inspiration of His Spirit to ensure I'm writing about things that are relevant to people's needs. I need to  continue learning about writing effectively so that I can make it worth your while to keep coming back. Its one thing to have a message that meets people's needs and quite another to convey it in a way that they can understand.

For all three questions, I would also like to request your feedback. As I said, its not about me. Please do let me know your thoughts (bunmiafolabi@hotmail.com) on what to improve and what's working so I can keep doing that.

I am filled with excitement about the future because I know God has great stuff planned. Just today he opened up a window in ministry and I am humbled yet again that He counts me worthy. Just this morning I rededicated myself to Him and promised to make Him proud. I am grateful.

Friends, join me this week in doing some sort of stock taking of your own in one area of your life or the other. I'm sure you will find some sort of anniversary to latch on to - 1 more day or 10 more. 4 months or 6. Every day is an anniversary of sorts. Let's take stock, evaluate where we are coming from and the path to get to where we believe we should. Rededicate yourself to Him and ask Him to hold your hand in this journey of life.

It's all about purpose! Make every day count. We will fulfill purpose. He loves us too much to let us fall away but we need to work with Him so as to redeem the time. Don't leave it too late. The best time to do anything is now. Remember our Decisions post? Take your time but not too much.

If you would like a refresher, all the posts so far can be accessed from this page:

Http://Incredible-courage.blogspot.com/?m=1

Thank you for being a part of this journey. Let's continue together until He returns for us in the clouds. Oh, what a glorious day to look forward to.

Till next week, blessings on you and yours.

Single by choice

Hello everyone,

How was your week? I hope you made some time to find joy in simple things? My week was hectic and I had to force myself to look for a Tintin comic online on Thursday evening because I knew I would have to report myself this weekend.

I did find one and it was his very first story. He was sent to Russia  to report on the ongoings of the communist regime. It was funny but the way he kept escaping every danger was too far fetched for my very adult mind. He sneezes and an iron gate gets unhinged? Lol, I managed to finish it but I'm going to find some other simple joy for next week.

Today I've decided to write about a pet peeve of mine - the undue pressure placed on singles (ladies particularly) in Nigeria and probably all of Africa by family and society.

In my previous church, the pastor typically spoke about and prayed for singles like it was a disease that needed an urgent cure. While I have no doubt that many ladies (especially) would like to be in a relationship that is leading to a walk down the altar at some point in the not too distant future, I feel we really need to recognize that not EVERY single lady desires that.

Relationships and marriage especially aren't a walk in the park. For a woman, you've got to think about potentially giving up on personal desires and goals if they are in not completely "sync able" (pardon the grammar) with whoever you are with. Yes, the ideal is to find someone who allows you to blossom and fulfill your wildest dreams, but even with a very understanding partner, it sometimes just isn't practical.

If your dream job involves late hours, lots of travel, etc for example, it is a potential conflict with caring for a husband and a home, no matter how understanding the man wants to be. And what about submission? Apologies to our dear brothers, but they can be stubborn sometimes, not seeing what we think is so obvious isn't it? But - you have to smile and go along with his plans, all the while praying and begging God on your knees to help him see the error of his way, lol.

In spite of the required compromises and all that, loving relationships are wonderful I agree but I strongly believe we need to accept that not everyone wants to make these compromises and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

As friends and family, we need to be careful about making the default assumption that everyone is desperately looking for a mate. We also need to let our single friends know that it's absolutely okay for them to be single for whatever period they choose to be. 

For those who are single, please make the best of the time. Enjoy it, use the opportunity to serve God like only a single person can. Apostle Paul already told us that a married person has divided loyalties between family and God. You simply can't have the same amount to pray and all that as a married person compared to a single person. We all only have 24 hours and some of those have to spent cultivating the earthly family relationships. Life should be lived to the full at any time but even more so when you free from the responsibilities of a relationship.

Please don't let anyone make you feel inferior or less than complete because you are single. Truth be told, if you feel incomplete as a single person, you aren't  the best candidate for a marriage. Marriage requires two whole people to come together in the divine mathematics that makes 1 + 1 equal to 1. It's not half plus half that make 1 in the divine arrangement.

If you desire to be married and have kids and all that, keep trusting God but don't make it your all consuming goal. If you desire it, God will make it happen but please don't fret about it. Make the most of your time on your own and God will make all things beautiful in Its time.

I once had a idea to run a fellowship for women who choose to be single but I'm not sure I still qualify (lol) but I still think the idea of such a support group/fellowship might be needed in a society such as ours where everyone keeps asking when you will get married once you are above 21. For all I know it may already exist and if it does, I would like to say thank you to whoever has taken up that cause.

Have a lovely weekend and a great week ahead. Next week is special for us on Incredible courage and I'll be posting on Thursday instead of Saturday for that reason.

Stay tuned and keep well. Till then, blessings on you and yours.

Joy in Simple Things

Hello dear friends,

It was my niece's 5th birthday earlier in the week and after all the merriment I forgot my laptop at their place. I went back the next day to pick it and decided to spend some time with them. While I was there, my niece and her sister took up balloons and started running across the room, each person in an opposite direction. This went on for about 30 mins, before they moved on to something else. They were laughing and were clearly having fun. It was simple thing that became an "aha" moment for me.

I thought to myself, what fun can there be in running across the living room with a balloon in hand? Such a simple thing! It struck me how much we as adults lose in the "growing up" process. One of them is the ability to find joy in simple things!

I then asked myself if it was impossible to get that back? How can we go back to the place where life isn't too complicated? Once again, a song came to my mind - Bring back the days of Yea and Nay by Bebe and Cece Winans. They sang about when life was so simple, you did or you didn't and you would or you wouldn't. Video here - http://youtu.be/K3KJDdeFpak

I concluded that it's not impossible, if we really want to. I guess the real point is we feel those simple things are too simple that we would probably be ashamed to admit to anyone that we find pleasure in them. As we grow older, we redefine what is cool and what is pleasant, shaped mostly by other people's opinions.

I have never been one to be bothered too much by what others think. My standard is the Word of God. If I pass muster on that standard, even if the traditions of men say otherwise, I'm good to go. I truly think more of us need to get to that level. Worrying about the Jones' and trying to keep up puts unnecessary pressure on us. 

So, simple things:

1. A quiet evening at home, just holding the hands of a loved one while tender music plays in the background. 

2. Watching Disney movies occasionally to lull us into believing that life isn't as bad as we think it is. 

3. A nice home cooked meal with a little snooze after the tummy is full? 

4. Lie on the floor/carpet or bed and think about happy times and laugh out loud. 

5. Play with a child or even a fellow adult. 

6. Sing a Nursery rhyme.

7. Read Tintin. 

They are a good way to temporarily escape from the pressures of being an adult. When we are done with the simple pleasures, we are renewed and able to face the adult world with a better outlook.

May I challenge you to take some time in the coming week to relax, and find something simple to enjoy? Take a break from being an adult and renew your mind, body and spirit. I'm going to do just that. Oh, Where's Tintin? Please join me. If you have challenges posting a comment here or would prefer not to, you may Send me an email at bunmiafolabi@hotmail.com to share your experience. I look forward to hearing your stories.

Lyrics for song Yay and Nay below

I remember when life was so simple
You did or you didn't
You would or you wouldn't
But it ain't like that anymore

I remember when life was so easy
People said what they meant
They were either for it or against
But it ain't like that anymore
Somewhere, we lost the score

Bring back the days of yea and nay
When we could plainly see the way
Then it was up to us to choose
Whether to win or to lose

Bring back the time when we could see
What it was we were to be
Caught in the midst of complexities
We search for yea and nay

I remember when life was so simple
Parents were a light
Through them we saw what was right
But it ain't like that anymore

I remember when life was so easy
Boys grew into men
Little girls to women then
But it ain't like that anymore
Somewhere we lost the score

Bring back the days of yea and nay
When we could plainly see the way
Then it was up to us to choose
Whether to win or to lose

Bring back the time when we could see
What it was we were to be
Caught in the midst of complexities
We search for yea and nay

We knew where we belonged
What was right and what was wrong

Bring back the days of yea and nay
When we could plainly see the way
Then it was up to us to choose
Whether to win or to lose

Bring back the time when we could see
What it was we were to be
Now, caught in the midst of complexities
We search for yea and nay

Bring back those days

Bring back the time when we could see
What it was we were to be
Now, caught in the midst of complexities
We search for yea and nay

Have a great weekend and a wonderful week ahead.

Your Friend,

Olubunmi

How Long?

Hello again!

In the last couple of weeks and posts, a few people have reached out to me and a question that seems to recur is "How long, Lord?". Truth be told, on some fronts I'm asking the same question myself.

Two days ago as I pondered this question for myself God led me to his Word - The Just shall live by faith. Hmm! Yes indeed. Though it tarry, wait for it. For the vision is for an appointed time. God is not slack concerning His promise as some may think. Finally, He gave me this song by Don Moen which really completed the Q&A session for me, lol. If you've read more than two of these posts you know music is probably God's second most effective way of reaching me, after His direct written word. 

So I'm deviating slightly today. I'm writing less and instead putting out the lyrics of the song "I will sing" by Don Moen. I believe it will minister to you as deeply as it did me and assure your heart of God's faithfulness.

The YouTube video can be accessed here: http://youtu.be/lw9CcLGjouM

"I Will Sing by Don Moen

Lord, You seem so far away

A million miles or more, it feels today

And though I haven't lost my faith

I must confess right now

That it's hard for me to pray

But I don't know what to say

And I don't know where to start

But as You give the grace

With all that's in my heart

I will sing, yes, I will praise, even in my darkest hour

Through the sorrow and the pain

I will sing, I will praise, lift my hands to honor You

Because Your word is true, I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see all the thoughts

And plans You have for me, yes it is

But I will put my trust in You

Lord we made You die to set me free

Oh thank God You did

But I don't know what to say

And I don't know where to start

But as you give the grace

With all that's in my heart

I will sing, I will praise, even in my darkest hour

Through the sorrow and the pain

I will sing, I will praise, lift my hands to honor You

Because Your word is true

I will sing, I will praise, even in my darkest hour

Through the sorrow and the pain

I will sing, I will praise, lift my hands to honor You

Because Your word is true, I will sing, I will sing, I will sing

Oh, we sing to You Lord

Oh, we sing to You Lord tonight

Halleluiah, we sing to You Lord

Oh, we lift our voices and sing to You

Worship You Lord, we sing to You Lord

We sing, we sing, We sing, we sing

Oh, we worship you Lord, oh, thank You Lord

I will sing, oh yes I will, I will sing

In conclusion my friends, when we've prayed and are confident that He had heard us because we asked in accordance with His will, we just need to sing and praise Him. Last week we talked about having done all, stand therefore. We need to stand in the place of praise in song and in our attitudes, keeping our faith in the one who can't fail. The One who has promised to meet all our needs (emotional and material) according to His riches.

Have a great weekend, go out to vote if you live in Nigeria and have your PVC. For everyone else, make the weekend count towards something.

Till next week, Blessings on you and yours.

Your friend,

Olubunmi

I don't know what to do!

Hello again dear friends. 

Happy Easter as we remember the reason we have a glorious future - the death and resurrection of Christ made all the difference. 

 This week as I pondered what to write about, the phrase "I don't know what to write about" echoed in my head. When it did, I smiled because I then knew what I was going to write about. 

I'm sure I am not alone in the feeling of helplessness that sometimes comes and makes you scream - I don't know what to do! 

This can happen in one of two ways. Either you are paralyzed with indecision and unable to determine what next step to take or what activity to pursue or you've done all you know to do and nothing seems to work. 

 Let's look at the first scenario. In my case, I couldn't figure out a topic that would be relevant to you my friends. It seemed I had lost all inspiration. Typically, I write from my circumstances or what's going on around me but with Nigerian elections and all that, it seemed the only viable topic might be elections and I wasn't going to join that party! We've had more than enough commentary on that on every conceivable social media. 

It then occurred to me that I possibly couldn't be alone in My dilemma. And that, is the first step towards an answer to the question of not knowing what to do. First, realize you aren't alone in what you're feeling and don't feel despondent. Others have gone through the same and somehow made it through. So look out to your environment, relationships, etc for inspiration or guidance. In such cases sometimes you have to do "whatsoever you hand finds to do" and as you do that, inspiration or clarity will come. Sitting still isn't the answer in scenario 1.  

 Scenario 2 is practically the opposite. You have done all sorts, gone left, right, perhaps turned 360 or 180 degrees round and maybe even backward and nothing seemed to work or make a difference. The song that popped into my mind when thinking about this is Stand by Donnie McClurkin. He says it all. In this scenario, standing still and waiting on God is your best option. Rest from your efforts and ask God to step in. This isn't to say that you can't ask God for direction in scenario 1 by the way. 

 In scenario 2, you want to take a time out, review the situation and assess what you've done so far. It's a time for quiet reflection and evaluation. Sooner than later, God has a way to coming through and giving direction. Sometimes it's direct to you - an idea pops into your mind or heart, or you come across something that seems to answer your question(s). Other times, it's through other people, a casual statement by someone, a comment that wasn't even meant for you that you over hear. Or directly from someone you sought counsel or guidance from. 

Yet other times you find direction in your environment as you observe life happening. Gut feel is also important. What resonates deep within you, even if it doesn't make sense? I have a dear, long lost friend to thank for reminding me yesterday of how important gut feel is. 

 In both situations, patience is called for. I've learnt long ago that I shouldn't give in to any situation that calls for a decision now now. No decision should ever be rushed. There are always various sides and perspectives to anything and you need that time element to be able to review all in order to make a properly informed decision. 

 It's Easter, friends and you are looking forward to some R&R I'm sure. I won't make this too long so you can go and enjoy your long weekend. I hope some of this resonates with you and fills some little need somewhere. 

 Till next week, Blessings on you and yours. 

 Your Friend, 

 Olubunmi