Promise Keeper

Hi everyone, how have you been? I hear a lot of "Fine" in my head and I imagine that is the majority of the mental responses as you read this. Saying fine was a reflex action for most of you, despite the fact that some of you are probably going through one situation or the other. We assume that the other party isn't really interested in our real feelings. "How are you" is assumed to be more of a greeting than a question.

Of course, it's not possible to give the asking party an earful each time you get asked the question but even when it is, we usually don't for reasons stated earlier. I've had a relatively easy, taking-it-easy kind of week. I then woke up this morning to an email that startled me and gave me a bit of concern. Thinking about it, I realized why I had felt led to write about keeping promises this week. My reaction to that email was - Lord, you are a promise keeper. I'm trusting you to keep your promise on this matter.

Friends, a lot of the time we say things we don't mean and we assume God is the same. He's not. His Word is Yea and Amen. He doesn't say what He doesn't mean. You can take His promises to the bank. We need to emulate that same characteristic. People need to be able to know that when you say a thing, you mean it and will ensure that you fulfill that which you have said. Every word we speak is a promise and that's why we shouldn't speak idle words. We need to be deliberate about our words, choosing and using them carefully.

Words can't be taken back. They leave an imprint on the mind of the hearer and set an expectation unless the hearer already believes that the speaker can't be relied upon to fulfill his or her words. Keeping promises requires conscious effort. One of the reasons I have been able to be consistent so far with weekly posts on Incredible Courage is the fact that I sign off each time saying "Till next week". That's a promise I've made to you as a reader of this blog and I don't want to break it. So if I ever sign off by saying till next time, know that I'm planning a potential missed appointment, lol. Next time is very vague and undefined.

"Thou will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You" is a promise of God that's kept me most of my life. Whenever I find myself in situations that I would rather not be in, I remind myself of that promise and I focus on His goodness and mercy and that calms me down. I remind myself of the times He's come through and that gives me an assurance that I am only passing through whatever the situation is.

In my dealings with other people, I constantly remind myself that my words must count. Even when joking, I try to ensure that jokes don't cross a certain line because my Yoruba people have a saying that "it is in the midst of play that we learn the truth". Sometimes the things we joke about actually reveal our deep thoughts that we wouldn't ordinarily mention. If those thoughts are wrong, or would potentially hurt someone, we need to ensure that we contain them in order not to hurt someone else. 

I do a bit of Counselling, both formally and informally. In Counselling with people, I also am careful what I promise them in terms of actions after our discussions. It's important to me that if I say I will follow up with someone, that I actually do. If I say I will pray along with someone, I must ensure I do so. For this reason, sometimes one has to not make certain promises even though you can see that the other person is expecting that promise and just wants it said, even if you don't mean it. 

Friends, let's ask God to help us be more like Him. Let's be deliberate about our words and make them count. We are God's arms through which He touches other people. Allow Him to use you, make the extra effort to stand with someone. If you promise to pray, do so. Show some love and care, in your words and in your actions.

I watched a lovely sunset yesterday and I was reminded of God's promise that seed time and harvest time will not cease while the earth remains. Plant a seed this week. I will catch you again next week.

Till then, Blessings on you and yours.

Friends, Family & Forgiveness

Hi everyone,

It's another week already! Where did the time go? Time does fly when you're having fun doesn't it?  The past week was busy but it was fun. I hope you had a fun filled even if busy week. Busy's good but if you weren't busy and that wasn't your choice, don't despair. Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. Refuse to stand still, find something you can do, even if it's seemingly unrewarded and help someone somewhere. Sow a seed of time and effort.

God places the lonely in families, His Word says. I have had the privilege of experiencing the love of my family (physical and spiritual) and friends in the past year like never before. One thing that problems do bring out is love from true friends and a loving family. I still remember with fondness all the calls, Texts, whatsapp messages, bbms, Facebook messages and emails I received from friends as far flung as Canada, Kenya, the UK, the USA and of course Nigeria. As many as could visit did so. My family was a rock, moving in with me to keep me company, calling daily, helping with tasks big and small. A friend went as far as arranging a plumber to take care of some plumbing work that had been planned to be done in January. Work colleagues, business associates, too many to count. Gifts of time and otherwise. Can I seize this opportunity to say THANK YOU! once again to you all. You know yourselves. God bless you richly. I realized during that time that distance and time doesn't diminish real friendship and true love. It was also one more way that God told me he loves me.

Friends, let's always remember to make time for the people God places in our lives. The story about what you would care about on your dying bed is almost cliche but it is true none the less. Work is great and fulfills a major need BUT prioritize your relationships - family and friends. Be a good friend and lovingly receive friendship. Give of your time and open your heart to those in your circle. Care for your work/business colleagues. Technology and the Internet has made keeping in touch much easier these days, take advantage of the resources you can to nurture your relationships.

Talking about being a good friend reminds me that there are also terrible people out there who can pretend to be "friends". I pray God delivers us from those kind of people. He delivered me from one such. I'll quickly share the story. This person wasn't a friend in that sense. He was someone that used to work for me, let's call him Mr. W. Like everyone else, he was sympathetic and seemingly helpful during those first few months of widowhood. I decided to sell some things I no longer needed and kept them somewhere in storage pending their sale. 

I was at the airport waiting for my flight enroute one of my MBA sessions when I got a phone call. The security person in the place I had stored those things asked if I had sent this person to take away one of the items stored there. He said Mr. W. Showed up, claimed I had sold that item and he was collecting it on behalf of the person I had sold it to. Mr. W went as far as calling a woman on his phone and the woman on the other end pretended to be me and confirmed that W was authorized to pick up the item. Thank God, the security was inspired by God to insist on calling me himself to confirm. You can imagine my amazement. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I said I hadn't sold the item and W wasn't allowed to take it out. That was the second incident on the same day by W.

What shall we say about W? He obviously had sold his soul to the devil and choose wickedness . Unfortunately for him, God was on the lookout for me. He got away with the first incident earlier in the morning, where he had collected money for an item and never gave it to me nor returned the item when I told him to. The second item of the day however was much more significant and valuable and I'm grateful to God for his deliverance.

I have since forgiven him and I want to ask that if any of you have been similarly treated, please forgive such a one. They will reap what they have sowed. For your part, release them to God and move forward. Trust God to restore whatever was taken from you and He will. Forgiveness isn't easy but it is necessary, for your own sake and not even the other party. Unforgiveness is a stone that weighs us down and makes it impossible to see clearly. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, let me remind you again that God is Faithful. He only allows that which we can recover from. Look up to Him and move forward.

Friends, It's the beginning of a new week, just one day gone. Let me wish you a prosperous week filled with love and affection from the people in your life. 

Till next week. Blessings on you and yours,

Thankful!

Hello again dear friends.

Its mid-week now and I hope you've had a great week so far. I had a grueling weekend, having taken part in an outdoor development leadership/team building event to start off the second year of my MBA program. I must have been on my feet, either walking or doing some activity for at least 12 hours over the entire 48 hour weekend. We all had a great time though and I’m glad I didn't chicken out of the experience. Having a cold and sneezing didn't help matters in close to freezing weather. On the second day, I wore 4 layers! Thankfully, it didn't rain. Shout Out to Malteasers – you know yourselves!

And that leads me to my topic for this week. I had meant to write on a different topic yesterday but couldn't get round to it and today God proved Himself faithful in a BIG way so I decided to write about being thankful instead (No coincidences right?) It’s already listed as one of my blog topics (forward planning me has 8 topics already planned out, lol) so I simply pushed it up the pecking order.

One thing I have learnt to be, in a bigger way over the last year is Thankful. I CHOOSE to be thankful. Not because of my circumstances but in-spite of them. I chose to be thankful because I knew it could have been worse. No doubt, a lot of things could have been better, but it is indeed by the mercies of the Lord that we are not consumed.

• I’m alive!
• My kids still have 1 parent!
• I have a loving family – physical and spiritual
• Wonderful friends
• A job (up till September)
• A business (after September)
• I’m healthy (clean bill after checkups in April)
• Our needs are met (just in time, yes but it’s a start isn't it?)

Friends, I could go on and on but you get the picture, don’t you? We must cultivate a habit of gratitude because whatever our situation, it’s always better than it could have been. Gratefulness then provokes and moves the hand of God to do more. In His time, He makes all things beautiful. We must learn patience as well, if the answer seems delayed, don’t slip into complaining. Keep up a grateful attitude and wait for His appointed time. We see in part, but God who has seen everything from the beginning knows the best time for our blessing to be delivered. Your complaining is the one thing that could cause a delay so avoid complaining like the plague.

So, I’ll share my testimony in brief. I needed to discharge an obligation and it’s been overdue for many, many months. In November, I was told I had a deadline of December and I trusted God to make it happen. I prayed, had someone join me in a prayer of agreement, told a few other close friends and family to do the same but December came and went with only a possibility and not the actual resolution. I judged God faithful and continued to thank Him for the answer. Friends, I stopped praying in November and I moved into thanksgiving because I was sure He would fulfill His word to me.

Today, I was told the answer had come and that obligation can be considered discharged. Truly God is faithful. It’s taken approximately a year but I’m sure this is the best time that obligation could have been discharged. There are still a few other prayers I’m trusting and thanking Him for, but I’m rejoicing in this victory. He did this, He will sort out the rest.

Gratitude is an attitude and a lifestyle. Cultivate it, friends. If you love music like I do, use it as a vehicle to keep you constantly in praise and thanksgiving. If not, let your heart just constantly raise silent and verbal words of thanks to Him each time you think about the issues you are facing. Always remember to rejoice in the small victories and before you know it, you will graduate to big ones.

He never fails! And now, I've got to ensure I don’t fail Him by hitting the books. I've got 4 business plans to study tonight. Student life is hard, lol, especially when it’s part-time.

Till next week, Blessings on you and yours,

No Coincidences

Friends, how has your week been ? Hopefully most of us had a restful, refreshing time out enjoying the holiday with family and friends. If you didn't for whatever reason, I hope you don't allow that to weigh you down. Look for a bright spot in whatever situation you found yourself and focus more on that.

I am sure you have from time to time in the past said to someone or yourself, "that's a coincidence!", probably with a smile if it was a happy coincidence. Yes, Coincidences happen from time to time. How would you like for your life to be a series of good coincidences or what I refer to as God-incidents?

Friend, I've come to realize that with God as the foundation, everything that happens to me are all pieces of the giant "puzzle" that is my life. It's called all things working together for my good in longhand. 

With the benefit of hindsight now, I see how God worked it so that I changed from starting a full time MBA in September 2013 to a part time one in January 2014. That decision ensured that I was around when my late husband first took ill. If I had been running a full time program I wouldn't have been back from school yet on the day he first took ill.  The decision to do a part time program happened because I took up a job. That job proved to be a life saver in the months following his passing. The MBA itself was a life saver because it provided me with something challenging to engage me and keep me from dwelling on the situation post December 30.

Can you see what look like coincidences in my life? Actually, I believe these are God-incidents, divinely orchestrated by God who had known what was going to happen and in His loving mercy and kindness had made a way of escape, such that I could bear it. Friend, there are many more examples like that in my life, since I gave over control to the one who sees the end from the beginning. 

One way to activate regular God-incidents in your life is to be prayerful. If you have the prayer language of the spirit, employ it to make deposits into your future. If you don't, you can still make those deposits, albeit in a More limited manner. We do not know what the future has in stock but He who searches the hearts knows and can help us arrange the puzzle pieces in advance before we walk into that future. Those prayer deposits should be made at various times, don't limit them to a "quiet time" period only. While driving, on a queue in the passport office, while cooking, in the bathroom - you get the picture? Don't leave your life to chance, take control by giving it over to the one who loves you more than any human could.

Till next week, have a great rest of the week and a restful weekend. Blessings on you and yours,